Endless Holiday Insanity, Part 1
by the Red Nothing
Summary: A (late) holiday fic, Part one of ??. It's AC 211, and Christmas is at the Maxwell's!! Duo and daughter have to go Christmas shopping to prepare.... R&R, please, and I'll write more ^_^
1. Default Chapter Title

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
ENDLESS HOLIDAY INSANITY  
DISCLAIMER:I do not own Gundam Wing. No, really?! Yesh, it's true, although I have $300 dollars because my allowance has been accumluating for over a year, so maybe I could buy it....? All of these characters are mine, except for Akai (most notably) and the other G-boys'/girls' kids.  
  
PROLOUGE: A "Legacy" (haw haw) is Introduced! No fear! The fic will NOT be in play-format!  
  
BORING-AS-HELL GUNDAM WING NARRATOR: The year is After Colony 211. The Gundam pilo- *is whacked on the head by an unnamed girl*  
  
???: Lord only knows how much I hate that man. I'll take it from here, folks: It's AC 211.. My mom, dad, aunts, and uncles (known as the G-boys and G-girls to you people!) have all started new lives and families, and live all over the Earth and colonies, so we can't get together much. I could tell you where everyone lived and who everyone married, but I will not, for two reasons: A, because you'll more likely than not find out soon enough, and B, I am lazy. Heh heh. Mum says I'm a lot like Dad, except, thankfully, I "have some common sense and intellegence". True, I am a lot smarter than most kids my age, but that doesn't make me a geek! Heh. I'm getting a bit off topic here....  
  
Anyway, I said we can't get together much, but we always manage to at LEAST once a year: On Christmas. And that brings us to out sto- *stops* Oh, you want to know who I am? *pauses* Ah, you don't really care, huh? You just want to know whose kid I am, eh? Well...YOU'LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH!! Ah heh heh heh....  
  
CHAPTER 1: Shopping! Twelve Hours, Mom?! Bonus: Freaky Dream Sequence!  
  
Akai was having 'that dream' again. It was the dream where she was a Gundam pilot of her father's own intimidating Gundam, blasting Libra to bits single-handedly. Suddenly, a Tauros mobile suit appeard out of nowhere. The mecha waved its 'arms' around frantically and began to wail.   
  
"A cup! A CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!" Akai shook her head. The pilot wasn't speaking: The actual mecha was.  
  
"A CUP!! I KILL YE!!! A CUP!! I KILL YE!!! AXE-HELL!!! A CUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!"  
  
Akai wasn't really sure what the heck was going on, but she caught the "I kill ye" part and was just about to chop that freeking Tauros suit to bits when she 'a cupped'.  
  
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"Wake up ..." whispered Hilde Maxwell into the ear of her sleeping 11-year-old daughter. "Wake up."she shook the girl's shoulders gently.   
  
"Wake up, Akai, wake up! Akai Maxwell, wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppp."  
  
Akai rolled over and blinked her eyes open, just in time to see her father walking into her room with a large bucket of water.   
  
"DUO!" shouted Hilde in disbelief as her two favorite people burst out laughing. {That man will never grow up,} she thought to herself.  
  
Akai loved her dad for the very reason Hilde was thinking about: He would never grow up. He actually HAD become a responsible man, but that didn't stop him from goofing off. No one could mistake Akai for anything but Shinigami's daughter: Her violet eyes always had an impish gleam to them, she was full of energy, and her hair, although raven black like her mother's, was tied in a waist-length braid.   
  
"Akai, get dre-" But Akai WAS dressed. Hilde shook her head. That kid always wanted to 'be prepared", so she changed before bed and slept in her clothes, thus allowing her to "hop out of bed" in the morning. Which she presently did.  
  
"Kay Mum, what'cha need?" Hilde grinned. "I need you two to go Christmas shopping for me: The party's at our house this year."  
  
Akai jumped up and down. "Whoo! OUR house?! Right here on L2?!"  
  
Duo rolled his eyes and shoved his daughter playfully. "No, on Mars, Goofus Jr!" Goofus Jr. was something Hilde had called her once, and it had stuck.  
  
"Yes, here on L2," continued Hilde, already ushering Duo and Akai to the door. "Here Akai, take this." Hilde thrust a little white peice of paper into her daughter's palm. "It's a list of the people you need to shop for. All your aunts and uncles of course." They'd arrived at the door. "All right you two, be back at ten."  
  
"Right, hon. That gives us...." Duo looked at his watch. "NANI!? Babe, it's NINE-FIFTY!! How much shopping do you expect us to do in TEN MINUTES!!?"  
  
Hilde smiled. "No no no, I meant be back by ten P M!" Akai's jaw dropped. "Twelve....hours?! WHY!?"  
  
Hilde chuckled to herself. "I have to clean for the party, and how can I with you in the house?" Duo whimpered. "You too, Duo-chan; you're as bad as Akai. I love you both, have fun, BYE!!" Hilde slammed the door. Akai sighed.  
  
"Well Dad, off to the mall with us..."  
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OK, this one is NEW! It's late, I know, but oh well.... Please R&R, and Akai, in this fic, isn't me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

DISCLAIMER: I used to own Gundam Wing, but I lost it, and those people at Sunrise, instead of taking it to the Lost & Found, KEPT IT!!! (j/k)   
  
  
  
Chapter 2: At the mall! Unexpected guest!!  
  
Akai and Duo finally made it to Fairlane Mall, L2's biggest shopping center.   
  
{Perfect for little girls to get lost in,} Duo moaned mentally. Akai looked at her dad.   
  
"Daddy, we'll split up. You get the food, and I'll buy the gifts. We'll meet in two hours in front of that video-phone shop. Deal?"   
  
Duo nodded vigorously and warned Akai to be careful, don't talk to strangers, etc. Akai rolled her eyes . {Always a food manic...} Then he finally left.  
  
"Let's see," she began, scanning the names, "Uncle Heero, Aunt Relena, Mary, and Decus. Uncle Trowa and his sister, Aunt Cathrine. Uncle Quatre, Aunt Mary, and Ben, Uncle Zechs, Aunt Lucrezia, and Patrick, and Uncle WuFei and Aunt Sally...with their five girls!" Akai snikkered at WuFei's rotten luck, but her face changed dramatically when she read one last name on the list that her mother had apparently added as an afterthought.   
  
"...what the?" she started, her eyes widening in terror.  
  
{Must be a mistake...} But she had a sickening gut feeling it wasn't.   
  
"DAAAADDDDDYYYYYY!!!" think of Gohan when Cell kills Goku, only much louder*   
  
From the other side of the mall, Duo heard his daughter's screams, assuming she was being attacked, rushed toward them. However, instead of finding the girl's assailants, he saw he perfectly fine.... pale, saucer-sized eyes, hand with party-list trembling, but otherwise fine.   
  
"Baby, what's wrong?" asked Duo with the genuine concern that only a father could show.  
  
"Daddy?" asked Akai meekly. "Did you invite Ms. Dorothy to the party?"  
  
{WHAT?!} Duo's pulse quickened. "Noooooooooo," be began nervously, "why?"   
  
Akai gulped as she thrust the paper into her father's hand. "Then Mum must've!"   
  
Duo's heart quickened, his eyes grew wide, and his skin grew pale as he read the list. Over and over again:  
Dorothy Catilonia  
Dorothy Catilonia   
Dorothy Catilonia  
  
There was no mistake. He trembled, the threw back his head and roared:  
  
"HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLDDDDEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
Chapter 3: Quatre and son show up! We need a plan!!  
  
Benjamin Trowa Winner bounded down the escalator after the screams, his parents unable to keep up with their 5-year-old son.  
  
"Mommy! Daddy! I told ya! Toldyatoldyatoldya!! It's Uncle Duo and Akai!!"  
  
Quatre and his wife, Mary, followed their son's gaze. "Uhm, Duo?" asked Quatre. He was greeted with a crazed look from his friend's eyes. "What's the, ah, matter?"   
  
Duo just quaked and made a squeaking sound, so Akai answered for him. "Mum's inviting Ms. Dorothy to the party..."   
  
Quatre's skin went even paler, if that was possible, as it sunk in. "AAAAAAAA!!!!! IS YOUR WIFE INSANE, DUO!???????"   
  
Duo grabbed Quatre by his neck. "I'm sorry, did you happen to say something about my wife?" He spoke through clenched teeth.  
  
"Word of advice, Uncle Q:" Akai coached out of the side of her mouth, "two people you never EVER diss in front of Dad : (1) Mum, (2) me."  
  
Quatre swallowed. "Nothing, Duo, but you know how I am around Dorothy... You know what happened on Libra..."  
  
Akai had found out, too. At a pool party, she noticed a scar in her uncle's side. He had explained how it had gotten there: Via a sword fight with a battle-crazed Dorothy Catalonia.  
  
"Itai!" wailed Akai, "She'll stab us all with dinner forks!!"   
  
The three adults, despite themselves, all cracked up at the girl's "prophecy". Akai joined in, too, and Benjamin, although he didn't get it at all, saw that everyone else was laughing, so he did as well.   
  
"No," Quatre chuckled, "seriously, Duo: The woman's dangerous. What are we going to do?"  
  
Duo put his finger on his chin, as if in deep thought, before saying, "Well, we could always rip those eyebrows off and shove 'em down her throat!!!" More whoops and hollers ensued, and passerby just gaped at the strange quintet.  
  
  
"May I make a suggestion?" asked Mary. "You know you can, honey," said Quatre, kissing her. Akai made gagging noises to Ben, who giggled. Duo shot her "the look".   
  
"Well," said Mary Winner, "if we just keep her happy, she might not kill us all..." Duo sighed. "Why not?"he said with the trademark Shinigami Grin. "But what gift should we get her?"  
  
"A weapon of some sort," Quatre supplied promptly. Akai shook her head, causing her long black braid to sway. "Baaaaaaaad idea, Uncle Q. First off, these days, in the era of total pacifism, you can't get your paws on a weapon without a LOT of hassle. And, pray tell, what would Ms. Dorothy do with it?!" The question hung on the silent air, terrifying them all. Mary, once again, came up with a semi-useful idea.  
  
"How about a BOOK about battles?" Everyone grinned. "DEAL!"   
  
Duo grumbled to himself, "I just wanna' get this over with..."  
  
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Oi! Dorothy of the creepy eyebrows!! Mary is based on no one; I just made her up. R&R, please ^_^  
  



	3. Default Chapter Title

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, because, to my surprise and great joy, you people replied saying that you liked this, I've written more! R&R, please ^_^  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do own all of the g-kids and Mary. Akai isn't really based on me, as I made up the name Akai for this fic while I was writing under XIIIRedXIII. However, I liked the name Akai so much it became my ff.net pen name.   
  
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Chapter Four: Mom, I'm home!! WHAT'S GOING ON???!  
  
  
  
Duo, Mary, Quatre, and "brood" were walking to Duo's house together. The Winner's were going to stay at the Maxwell's for the holidays, as were the Yuy's, the Marquis', the WuFei's, Trowa, and Cathrine. However, they were NOT showing any signs of Christmas cheer...  
  
The artificial weather center was causing it to snow. Normally, the kids would have been trying   
To catch snowflakes on their tounges, but Akai was just dragging her feet, as was Ben. Even though Ben was only five, he knew something was quite amiss, as the name "Dorothy" was considered a cuss word in his house.  
  
When the party of five finally arrived at the Maxwell House, a certain little German wife/mother had a LOT of explaining to do.  
  
"Oh honeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey," said Duo in a menacingly sweet, sing-song voice, a voice that men can only perform when they are REALLY angry, "We're hoooooooooooome."   
  
Hilde walked into the vestibule to great the guests, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Duo. In all of their eleven years of marraige, her husband had never even raised a single finger, or even raised his voice. Now, however, he looked absolutely ready to tear her to shreds.   
  
"Dearest," he continued in his evil super-sweet voice, "why the hell did you invite Dorothy to the party?!"  
  
Hilde's eyes widened.  
  
"Why fa hewl? Hewl!" Ben was giggling. Duo slapped his hand on his forehead. "Akai, go take Ben into the next room until your mom's done explaining."  
  
Akai swallowed. "Yes sah, I won't letcha' down, sah!" She loved pulling her millitary accent. She dragged Ben into the next room, who was cussing more than a Treize Kushrenada with BLUEBERRY instead of ROSEBUD scented bubble bath.  
  
"Hilde, why did you invite Dorothy Catalonia to the party?" Quatre asked shakily. Hilde shook her head.  
  
"It was an acident, and it's a good thing Ben left, as it concerns Santa Claus..." Akai was a bright little girl, and the old Santa myth didn't fool her past six.  
  
Duo raised an eyebrow. "Oh, how so?"  
  
Hilde Maxwell took a deep breath. "Well, it's like this...."  
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DUO: O_O I taught a little kid how to swear.  
  
MIKAU: Really uncool, dude.  
  
PICCOLO: *meditating*  
  
DUO: He should lighten up.  
  
ORIAS: Let's throw rocks at him!  
  
DUO: ~_^******  
  
MIKAU: (-_-)C  
  
ORIAS: Wha???  
  
MIKAU: Well, besides the fact that Piccolo could, like, Renzokou Senkouden us all, he's like, cool and junk, so we should, like, leave him alone....  
  
DUO: ...and Akai would kill us.  
  
AKAI: Damn straight. Scatter muses!  
  
MUSES:*leave, save for Piccolo*  
  
PICCOLO: (i^_^i)  
  
AKAI: Okies, r&r please!  



End file.
